And here we go. I just registered my oldest for Kindergarten today. Didn't I just have him? Wow. When people tell you to cherish every moment because they grow up so fast, I would just nod my head and agree. I don't think it's sinking in how fast time has gone!
When he was born, school seemed so far off. I couldn't even imagine what it would feel like to have a kid in school. Am I that old already? Today was easy...filling out forms, showing him how the kids walked in a single-file line down the hallway. It's August that I really dread. I don't know if I'll be working or not. I don't know what our lives will be like in 3 months, but I do know that he'll be in school regardless of what happens. I went through times that I wanted to homeschool (honestly, I still do) and times when I was all about sending him off to public school (if it worked for me, he will be fine). Private school has never truly been an option for us (although, it would be nice). I was never really scared about him going to public school...until the last couple of years. I've seen what kids are like now. Surely we didn't act like that? I am scared to let him ride the bus with big, scary 5th graders because he is such a follower and looks up so much to older kids. How do I let go? I pray, constantly. The joke has been that I am already praying for his teacher because he knows so much already, that he will be bored and get in all kinds of trouble. Today, I realize that I need to sincerely pray for his teacher...and everyone he comes in contact with. I need to pray that they will impact him in a positive way; that they will be good role models. I've never really prayed over my child. Now is the time.
I feel as though I haven't truly prepared him for what he's going to face in school. Will he be picked on? How will he handle that? How will I handle that? Is he going to get in trouble all the time? I was never in the principal's office...will he be? God has this amazing way to keep you on your knees when you are a parent. Just when you think you've got the groove going, something else comes up to prove that your children are not your children at all...they are His children. Have I done everything I can do to prepare him? no. Is that even possible? probably not. The only thing I can do at this point is pray without ceasing that I can show him God's love as a parent and that he learns to show others that same love.
Knowing that it takes a village, will you please join me in praying for my son, Kyler? That he learns to follow God with the same wide eyes that he follows the big kids? That God will protect him as he starts school in August and that I can learn to let go just enough...enough to teach him independence but not so much that he forgets how much I love him.