Friday, February 29, 2008

verse of the day

We also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out his love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom he has given us. Romans 5:3-5 (NIV)

I hope this helps someone does me.

Wednesday, February 27, 2008

Ladies and gentlemen...

we have a screamer. She screams about everything. When we are happy...scream. When we are laughing...scream. When we are hungry, tired, upset, or angry...scream. And sometimes...let's just scream so we can hear our lovely, loud, screeching, piercing, screaming voice! I'm going to go crazy (or gray) before she gets out of this phase.

a lesson in God's timing

We prayed for His timing and His hand to be on us as we go through this process. We knew that it would take some time. We have gotten our answer. Unfortuately that means that we get to...wait.
If you have no idea what I'm talking about, here's a quick recap. During our church's Sacred Gathering, my husband and I were called to full-time international missions. After several confirmations from God, we went ahead and started the application process and prayed for God's timing as we took a major step on faith. Well, he answered. We need to wait. We are ready to just pack up and leave, but apparently God has some more for us to do here before we are sent. I'm okay with that. A little sad, but okay. So...pray for us and stay tuned for updates as we see what He has planned for us here.

Tuesday, February 26, 2008

One of THOSE days

I hate days like this. Neither my husband nor I got a good night's sleep thanks to our son and today is cold, windy, rainy and dark. This is a BAD combination for me. The only thing that could make it worse is if I were starving hungry. Thankfully, I remembered to eat lunch before I got that bad.
I woke up with plans...those plans had to change. I don't know why I don't handle that well. After two kids and being a teacher for 3 1/2 years, I can do change and even change my plans quickly...maybe that's it...I can handle that kind of change because I control it. This morning, it was out of my control...therefore, problem.
I've also been worrying about something that's in my control, sort of. It's something that came up in a discussion this morning with my husband...**enter verse of the day**:

Don't worry about anything; instead, pray about everything; tell God your needs, and don't forget to thank him for his answers. Philippians 4:6 (TLB)

It's so hard to just let God take over when you're a control freak. I don't have to be in control of everything, I just feel more comfortable when I am in control of me and my surroundings. It is a constant struggle to "let go and let God." I'm sure I'll be working on that one for a long time.

Saturday, February 23, 2008

Almost one

She is almost one!!!! I can't believe how fast times flies. It seemed to go so much slower with Kyler. Our princess will be one year old in one week. It doesn't seem possible.

God's calling

Where has God called you? You are not here by accident. He put you in your job, with your family, gave you your children...all so you can spread His name. Everyone is a missionary. It's not something that "those other people do" for a week every's not always in a foreign's not something to be left for someone else to do. You are a missionary to your children, your husband or wife, your co-workers...even to the cashier at Wal-Mart. I know where God has called me and my husband. We are working and praying toward that. We had an amazing night last night in conversation, prayer, more conversation...just being excited together. Then this morning, I see the verse for today:

I urge you to live a life worthy of the calling you have received. Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love. Ephesians 4:1-2 (NIV)

It's amazing when you surrender to God's calling how he confirms it over and over.

Thursday, February 21, 2008

verse for the day

Okay, it's yesterday's verse, but I didn't think it really related to anything yesterday until I read it again this morning. I was asked a question last night and I gave an honest, tranparent answer in an effort to be completely open. I didn't think I was ruffling any feathers, but I think I did, and to that person, I am truly sorry. My honest answer was based on a fear I have in myself about stepping out of my comfort zone and becoming vulnerable to major change in my life. You can ask anyone in my family, I don't handle major change very well at all. So for God to ask me to step out in faith and out of my comfort zone is a very hard pill for me to swallow. is the verse that, this morning, made complete sense:

Isn't everything you have and everything you are sheer gifts from God?...You already have all you need. 1 Corinthians 4:7-8 (MSG)

Okay, God. You have made me who I am to serve you. You will equip me to do your work.

Wednesday, February 20, 2008

more comparisons

A while back I posted some pics of the kids at the same ages to see how much they looked alike. Here are some more.

Kyler at 11 months 2days.

Aaliyah at 11 months 7 days.

There's no mistaken that they are siblings, but Aaliyah is starting to really look like her own person now.

Thursday, February 14, 2008

wonderful TN weather

Ah...gotta love Tennessee weather. Tuesday...55 degrees. Wednesday...SNOW. Thursday...52 degrees. My favorite saying is "if you don't like the weather in TN, stick around for 5 minutes." That is so true. Here are some pics I took of the snow at our house. Aaliyah was asleep when we went out and played, so she didn't get to enjoy her first snow fall. Oh, well. Kyler was 2 before it snowed enough around here for him to actually play in it so she still has time.

This is a snowball maker we got as a "gift" during a dirty santa game this year. We told Kyler he couldn't play with it unless it snowed...we didn't realize he would remember!

We lasted about 5 probably can't see it, but his nose and cheeks are nice and rosy.

this is just the beginning...

Sacred Gathering was just the beginning for a huge plan that God has revealed to many people at our church. I know of at least two couples who are going to be moving toward becoming full-time vocational missionaries as a result of this time of fasting and prayer. There was no great moment for me. God also speaks in a "still small voice" and I believe that is where I am supposed to meet Him right now. Stop being so loud and stop and listen.
I do need to resume a daily time of reading and prayer, it just may be before bed instead of in the morning like I want it to be. The truth is, if I were to do it in the morning, I would have to get up way too early (like 4:15) to get that in then go to the YMCA to work out. Getting up that early for me would counteract all the good I would be doing my working out.
One of the greatest things for me coming out of this event was that my husband and I are excited to talk to each other. We have never been much for talking (him more than me), but this is something that we went through together. We held each other up during the fast and God revealed some of the same things to both of us. It's not something that I will talk about yet, but just know that God has called us to do some things that we are just waiting on His timing and provision for.
All in all, I'm glad I did it. I'm glad I participated and didn't make any excuses. I'm glad that even when my blood sugar was dropping, I didn't waiver from what God called me to do; I just prayed that much harder and He got me through it. I'm a better and stronger person for it.

Wednesday, February 13, 2008

Verse for today

I don't have time to write all my feelings and thoughts from last night's Sacred Gathering, but here is my verse for today. Quite appropriate for what I was feeling last night as we broke our fast and again this morning when I woke up.

Then I lay down and slept in peace and woke up safely, for the Lord was watching over me. And now, although ten thousand enemies surround me on every side, I am not afraid. Psalm 3:5-6 (TLB)

Coming soon - thoughts as Sacred Gathering ends, Kyler in the snow, God's amazing timing.

Tuesday, February 12, 2008


It is almost 1:00 pm and the kids are asleep. I am struggling. I'm not hungry, but I want to eat. I long to have a taste of anything in my mouth (besides water). Then it hit me...this is why we fast...that longing for food...that should be our longing for God. Why is this so hard for me? Why can't I just say "okay are what I need" and then *poof* the longing is there? I want to have the walk that so many of my friends have...they are such strong focused on eager to learn more about him and share him with others. I don't have that...I'm so used to just playing the part.
My husband and I have had this talk about raising our kids in the church. Well, of course we will. What about when they don't want to go? Do we make them? Do we let them make their own choice? Often times I think that those who find God later in life hunger for Him more because they remember vividly what life was like before. They lived part of their adult life without Him and know what a difference He made in their life. Me?...I grew up in the church...became a Christian when I was you really know at 9 years old what life is like with out God? I mean much does a white, middle-class 9 year old have to deal with? I'm not blaming my parents. I'm glad they had us in church all our lives. It probably saved me from a lot more heartache than I had growing up. I just wonder if I've gotten so good at adapting that I've lost (or never had) that deep, aching, hunger for God to take over my life.

Thoughts from last night

I read from this site yesterday about an hour before we went to church. It really spoke to me as to why I'm doing this and what is expected of me through this process. First song in worship starts "strength will rise as we wait upon the Lord." Couple of songs later "still I wait for you, still I wait for you...I'm falling on my knees, offering all of me, Jesus you're all this heart is living for." I'm not sure what I'm supposed to be getting out of this. I can't seem to it because I'm that far from God right now? My mind keeps wandering to my this the "curse" of being a mother...not getting to completely focus and worship with abandon? Even at home, can't stop to pray and listen...there's always a kid needing something or crying or following me around.

Fasting update: I'm still doing good. Yesterday, I felt fine. Today, I'm very tired. Already yelled at Kyler (again). Making an effort to be positive again worked yesterday.

Monday, February 11, 2008


Only 3 more hours until we are at church worshipping our God and Savior and seeking his will for us. I keep thinking that I will just eat a bite of something, but then I know that is going against what He wanted me to do. My verse for today is staying in front of me:

The Lord will keep you from all harm - he will watch over your life; the Lord will watch over your coming and going both now and forevermore. Psalm 121:7-8 (NIV)

How appropriate for a time of fast.

Gardner's Multiple Intelligences

I remember studying these in college in a couple of my education classes. I'm not too surprised by the results, are you?

Click to view my Personality Profile page

Go here to find out.


It is 10:15 am and I am kinda hungry. I didn't realize how much I'm in the kitchen munching during the day. I went in there to get my water and my eyes kept gravitating toward the pantry and the fridge and the food on the counter. This is going to be hard.
I've already yelled at Kyler and cussed this morning...sorry God, not exactly in line with the purpose of fasting. I am going to make a strong effort to be pleasant and not yell just because I'm hungry. Kyler knows what's going on...we explained the best we could last night. He knows we're not eating and kind of knows why we are doing it. He is excited about going to church tonight and tomorrow, though. I'm afraid Aaliyah will not do well since it is during her bedtime, but we'll keep happy thoughts going anyway. :)
Unexpected side effects...already having trouble typing.

The Sacred Gathering

Four years ago our chuch had what we called a "Sacred Gathering." It was a 3-day period of fasting, prayer, and corporate worship to focus on God's direction for our lives and the life of our church. Well, we are doing it again. The fast started yesterday after lunch and ends Tuesday night after the corporate worship time.
The first time we did this, I was all on board. A little leary of the 3 day fasting, I was still up for it...until the day before. I got up early that morning to take a little test that my husband made me get the night before. It was positive which meant no fasting for me. What test you might ask? The one that told us that a quick 9 months later we would be the proud parents of a baby boy! Ray still did the fast and almost made it to the last night...I ended up feeding him a couple of hours before the service because he was laid on the couch about to pass out.
Okay, enough rambling, now to the current Sacred Gathering. When it was presented to our church, I was thinking, "I can't fast, I'm nursing." Then, I stopped nursing. Then I thought, "I can't fast, my blood sugar is all whacky." Then, I said I could fast from refined sugar. Then, the more I thought about it, the more God pressed on me to rely on him to get me through and to stop making excuses. I didn't start fasting until last night after an early dinner. It was during dinner that God revealed to me that I was disobeying Him...directly...and on purpose. How bad did that make me feel? It was gut-wrenching. I kept making excuses and He kept telling me to stop and I wouldn't listen.
I am going to journal part of my experience through the fast and prayer on this blog, so stay tuned. There will probably be multiple entries each day as I work through what God wants me to learn.

Saturday, February 2, 2008

Norah's Adoption Party

Last night we went to celebrate with Brad, Alison and Norah Bynum. The party was awsome. Alison always puts such great thought into everything and every detail and this party was no different. There were two separate buffets: one for the kids (fruit, green beans, mac-n-cheese, french fries, and chicken tenders) and one for the adults (salad, various vegetables, a few meat choices). She also had craft tables for the kids, special kids tables with toys and cups with tops and straws already on them! How awsome is that?! Brad and Alison, we are so happy for you and your family. Norah is a beautiful girl and we look forward to watching her grow up to be a beautiful woman. Thanks for sharing your special day with us!