Tuesday, February 25, 2014

Be Still

So... A lot has happened since my last post. Some good, some not so good, yet all part of His plan. Part of our life is back on track, part is still far from where I thought we would be at this point in our lives. I have really been struggling for a while with not being where I think I should be, where we should be as a family. It is what I want. I have an idea of what I would like our family to look like, to act like, to do life like. It is not His plan...it is MY idea. If you had asked me 14 years ago, when we met, what my family would look like now, it would not be like this. If you had asked me 10 years ago, when we got married, what our family would look like now, it would not be like this. If you had asked me 5 years ago...well, you get the idea. I NEVER pictured life like this, spiritually. I have been thinking a lot about that. Why can I not have the relationship with God that I know I should have. Why can't my husband....my children? Why has parenting become so much harder as they have gotten older? Wasn't it supposed to get a little easier in ways? I thought I was prepared. I was not. On the way home, I was listening to Pandora and a song by Christy Nockels came on..."Be Still and Know." God really used that moment and the flow of the song to speak to me. On that drive home, all my worries, all my insecurities...it doesn't matter. He is GOD! I will hold on to that. I can't be still in my life, but I can know that He is God. My life could be falling apart worse than I could imagine, worse than I have experienced already...He is still God. I have said it before. Music is very powerful in my life. The way the notes flow, the lyrics, the feelings it explains or creates in me. God has given me that. Where words fail...Music speaks. Here is the link again...Christy Nockels, Be Still and Know

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