Wednesday, November 19, 2014

Sometimes Life Just Sucks

Pardon my bluntness. Life sucks. Bad things happen to great people and people who don't deserve the dirt they walk on get great things. Life is not fair. At no time is that more apparent than when learning of an illness of someone who is your age...or who you are close to...or used to be close to. What makes it worse if having to walk your children through that. I love being a mom. I love my children...all 6 of them (if that number confuses you, see my profile). Nothing can bring more joy or pain than being a mother. Part of that journey is walking your children through grief. We have the honor of being able to teach our children about life. About the good and bad. Sometimes we forgot that this is an honor that has been bestowed upon us by God Himself. I have had to walk my children through this valley more than once. And that valley is not always the grief of life lost. It can be the loss of "what could have been." The loss of a relationship, a marriage, a home, a friend. Kids are resilient but that should not cause us to belittle the feelings they have. Feelings are very real for a four or five year old just like they are for an adult. My children are very compassionate. I am thankful that this will lead, hopefully, to lives as compassionate adults. They feel big. Some more than others. With big love also comes big anger and big grief. As children, they have had to walk through more grief than I ever did. I am walking through many of these loses for the first time with them. I am thankful, though, that I can walk them through grief guided by God's light. Filtering my responses through an eternal filter. I have the honor and awesome responsibility to teach them that God is in control. He will be glorified in the good and in the bad. He gives and takes away. He will work all things together for good...even when we don't understand. Between my depression, my husband's depression, and the amount of loss they have had to endure over the last four years, I am thankful that God is in control and that we can always hold on to Him. Even when nothing is left but our fingers clinging to the cross, He has never let go. Thank you, Lord, for our children and for making yourself known to them. Thank you that they have opportunities as children to spread your love for others and to demonstrate supernatural peace when everything in the world says that they should be a wreck. Thank you for giving my husband and I the words to say at the right times so that we can guide them through life's difficulties with your grace and peace.

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