First of all, I want to apologize for the lack of thoughtful blogs. Most recently they have just been pictures and captions and very shallow-type things. I have been going through a lot of "stuff" since Grandma passed away and frankly didn't think it would have been good to air it all out on the internet!
Without going into too much detail, I have had to admit some things to myself and to others in the last couple of weeks and it hasn't been easy. I have come to the realization that I have one of two problems: 1)I have an anger problem, as in I don't know how to handle it and explode a lot, or 2) I have a hormone problem that causes these wonderful mood shifts from one day to the next. I never know when I wake up if it's going to be a good day or a bad day. For someone who needs to know the plan and what is expected of her...this is NOT a good thing. I have tried to track my days to see if it is directly related to certain times (as in..of the month...get it?), but it's not. There was one day last week when it was cloudy, I didn't have any coffee, and hubby left for work at 7:00 AM (which is really early for us). Add to that my 4 year old son's severe attention-seeking behavior and we had a full blown "mean momma."
I am not looking for suggestions nor am I looking for help. I am simply putting my thoughts out there. This is something that I am praying about and I know that God will give me the strength to calm down when I get really angry. I already saw progress today. I was ready to blow my top over something very small and stopped to take a deep breath first. Amazing how calming that is. I was very excited over that small step! :)