June 28, 2003

I still remember most of that day. Of course your wedding day is usually a blur by the time you wake up the next morning anyway. My performer mind remembers the things that went wrong. I won't go there.
I remember my matron of honor making me cry right before she went down the aisle. I remember crying the ugly cry the second my feet hit the carpet in the worship center. I'm sure dad was trying his hardest to not cry too bad. I remember the candle dripping wax all over the carpet on stage (is Rachel peeing??). I regret not taking the time to stop and look at my husband standing at the front in his tuxedo. He was so incredibly handsome. We were so naive. Aren't most newlyweds? We were so young. We didn't think so. We had no idea that in 17 short months our whole world would change with the birth of our first child.
I remember people being scared that I would spill the red punch all over my dress b/c I kept walking around with it. I remember thinking that maybe we shouldn't dance after all. It is the fellowship hall and there is no DJ, just our CD a friend compiled for us. I remember my dad coming up to me and asking me to dance (I guess he knew I was too scared to ask him). I don't know if he knew I wanted to. Neither one of us looked at each other the whole song. We would have cried so bad. It could have been ugly. :)
One of my best memories of that day is stopping at Kroger before heading to Atlanta for the night. I still had on my tiara and jewelry with my shorts and sleeveless shirt (so like me). A lady in the doorway told us we looked so happy. I told her we had only been married about 2 hours. She told us congratulations. I don't know who she was, but that memory will be with us everytime we celebrate our anniversary.
We had big plans for this one. Five years. A good chunk of people don't make it here. We wanted a vacation. Alone. Oh, well. Amazing how God laughs at even the simplest of plans.
The last year has been rough, but when is marriage easy? I can definitely say that we have grown closer this year. We have learned a lot about each other. When we were dating we had a little thing we said to each other and I'll apply it here...Five years down, eternity to go.
Ray, I love you. You were an amazing answer to prayer in God's perfect timing. You are a great father to our children and my rock as a husband. Happy Anniversary.