Friday, March 5, 2010

so what's it REALLY like? part 4

if you have no idea what I've been writing about, read part 1, part 2, and part 3 first.

So what can we do to change our hearts and attitudes about being a SAHM?
First, understand that you will have good days and bad days. Everyone does. You are not alone! Yes, you feel alone, but you're not. There are other moms who understand. Some are going through exactly what you are, some have been through worse, some not so bad, and some are on the other side and have a wealth of advice and encouragement. Find these women, whether through facebook, your church, a circle of friends and their friends...whatever you have to do to find other women who are encouraging and loving and who have been there.
Second, pray. Find a way, any way, to keep your personal time with God. I feel like a hypocrite telling you to do this part. I am the world's worst at keeping a quiet time, so I am preaching to myself on this one. I cannot stress enough how important it is to have a personal relationship with God. If you have any questions about this, then please feel free to comment or email me at mtsusinger [at] yahoo [dot] com.
Third, talk. Talk to your husband. Be open (yet again, preaching to myself here) and honest with him. Tell him how you feel and ask him what he's going through. Make an attempt to understand each other's point of view. You can never know exactly what it's like to live someone else's life because you are not them, but you can try to see things the way they see them. It may give you a new perspective you didn't think of before.
Fourth, do something for yourself every day. For me, I always feel worse on the days I don't get a shower in the morning. I always try to have my coffee in the quiet of the morning (5:30 in the morning to be exact) before the kids get up. This is time that my husband and I can have together to talk or just sit together before the kids get up. Yes, it's early, but when your kids get up anywhere between 6 and 7, you do what you have to! I also try and get in 30 minutes of yoga. It helps keep me calm and relaxed and gives me a workout at the same time!

The most important thing is to remember that, in the end, you and your husband love each other and you love your kids and that is why this parenting thing is so hard...because true, unconditional love is hard. I'll tell you, though, nothing makes my mind forget all the bad things and melts my heart faster than watching my husband love on our kids. THAT is what makes it worth it for me. :)

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