Tuesday, February 12, 2008

Thoughts from last night

I read from this site yesterday about an hour before we went to church. It really spoke to me as to why I'm doing this and what is expected of me through this process. First song in worship starts "strength will rise as we wait upon the Lord." Couple of songs later "still I wait for you, still I wait for you...I'm falling on my knees, offering all of me, Jesus you're all this heart is living for." I'm not sure what I'm supposed to be getting out of this. I can't seem to focus...is it because I'm that far from God right now? My mind keeps wandering to my kids...is this the "curse" of being a mother...not getting to completely focus and worship with abandon? Even at home, can't stop to pray and listen...there's always a kid needing something or crying or following me around.

Fasting update: I'm still doing good. Yesterday, I felt fine. Today, I'm very tired. Already yelled at Kyler (again). Making an effort to be positive again today...it worked yesterday.

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