Sunday, July 8, 2007

from June 6, 2007


I have a friend from HS who lost her daughter this week and have really been reflecting a lot since I heard. I sent her a message telling her that I was praying for her and her family somehow hoping that those words would be a little comforting to her. Why is it that when something so tragic happens to someone close to us, we start to reflect on our own life. I wanted more than anything to tell her that I knew how she felt or I was hurting for her, but I don't and I'm not. I know that may sound cold, but really think about it. Unless you have ever lost a child whether through miscarriage, stillbirth, or otherwise, you really don't know how they are feeling. The level of hurt they have is nothing that you can really feel unless you have been there, too. I want to hurt for her and I do as best as I know how, but I know that's not enough. The day I heard, I just held my own daughter closer. She's only three months old so it hasn't been that long since I gave birth myself. I could only think about how I would have felt having carried this baby almost to term, go through labor and delivery, and then have the doctor tell me that she didn't make it. She never even got to take her first breath, let out that first wonderful cry, open her eyes and see her mom, or even wear a diaper. The only comfort is knowing that God is in control and even through the most tragic of circumstances, he has a plan. This little girl is still loved and will always be loved by her parents. The most awsome thing is knowing that God has her in his arms and she is smiling and seeing the beauty of heaven just waiting to meet her mom and dad and siblings one day. How thankful I am to have an awsome God and two beautiful children. I've become even more thankful in the last few days for my kids. Even in the most trying of days I can know I'm blessed to be a mom to two children who will hopefully grow up one day to know how much they are loved.

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